Ever since joining my first direct sales business in 2014, I learned the importance of finding and declaring “My Why.” I listened to friends and mentors proclaim why they were starting a business and I let them help me develop my why. I listed things like my husband, my children, my debt…. I also gave reasons like to prove to myself I can do hard things, to show up as a better version of myself, to be stronger than my negative thoughts…and many other things. I was told I should recite “My WHY” and have it in a place I would look at it every day! When I felt insignificant or when I was failing, I could say it out loud and be reminded of the commitments I made to myself!
For years, I did this! I even learned that “My Why” would change and would need to be adapted to my new goals. I listened and applied this to my life also! I switched businesses in 2019 and created a new why. I was so passionate about the health and wellness of others and wanting to make more money than I ever had before that I wrote it down, I said it out loud, I said it in my mind, and I would even talk about it with God in my prayers.
Fast forward to now:
I must admit that after 6 years I realize I have been using “My Why” the wrong way! If you read my first blog post about my North Star you will learn about my true reasons and “My Why” I created Huntress coaching! This mantra I shared there is much different than the away-from words I used to say to myself when I created “My Why” for the first time! I found myself so often dealing with anxiety associated with the responsibility those two little words often brought.
It has only been within the last six months that I have recognized the stress that came from focusing on the whys of something, especially when they were “away from” reasons such as: I don’t want to be in debt any more, or I don’t want to be stressed all the time. I even tried to create towards goals like: I want to be financially free and happier in my life. As I started to look back, I found this very common stressed theme throughout my sales experiences and wanting so badly to grow a business for my family and for my debt and for my self-esteem. Too many times, I would sit and cry because I was not reaching certain goals. “My Why” had all the reasons I needed to succeed built into it, so when I did not meet my goals I felt like I was failing. I didn’t truly have “My Why” ever! I had “why” I should or shouldn’t do things, but that is SOO different from what I stated in My North Star Article.
And now I know why… no pun attended haha! From all my studying this past year while in school for my life coaching, NLP and EFT certifications, I actually learned about the power of creating “My How.”
Once you do the work to develop your own North Star, your true “Why” for your life and your business, you want to focus on the Hows of getting there! How are you going to achieve your goals? I didn’t understand this before that once I had “My Why,” I next needed to figure out the Hows. How was I going to get there. How would I stay focused? How would I keep showing up day after day?
Here are a few reasons to use How questions once you have your true Why! Make sure you have read my first blog article to see the steps to break down how to find that!
1. How questions are more empowering because they help our brain stay forward thinking! Why questions can often keep us stuck in the past.
Example: How can I stay focused even when I have a bad day? Why can’t I rise up when I have a bad day?
2. How questions help us overcome obstacles where often Why questions can keep us from working through the obstacles.
Example: Why am I not moving forward with my business goals? How can I move forward to create the change I desire?
3. Asking Why can put our brain in a defensive anxious state where we just come up with excuses. How questions are part of the solution! I always want to be part of the solution and not the excuse!
Example: Why do I keep falling short of reaching this goal? How can I break down my goal in smaller steps so I can achieve what it is I desire?
4. Why questions can put us in effect of our life vs cause! We always want to be at cause… How questions help us stay in cause of our life. When we are in cause, we recognize we are responsible for our choices and therefore at any time can change them! We take ownership when we are in cause! When we are in effect of our life… things are happening to us and we can not control our outcomes or reactions.
Once you understand this, it is time to take ownership of it! Here is how I have done this for Huntress Coaching.
While health coaching over 200 clients the past 2.5 years, I started to see current sabotage patterns. They were easy to recognize because I was dealing with very similar ones in my own life. I remember many sleepless nights on my knees praying to know what I could do for my clients and myself, so we could continue with our goals in a healthy way AND heal our negative relationships with food. I remember very clearly in November of 2019 asking God in prayer “How” I could help myself specifically heal…. This was a common prayer for a few weeks and what came up surprised me! I know exactly where I was when I felt the answer and it was very clear. What I felt was this: 2020 will be the year for you to invest in further learning to develop skills, tools, and techniques you don’t have yet! This was not what I was expecting AT ALL, but it was the answer I needed! I started focusing on “How” I would help them and myself instead of why was this happening?
I dove fiercely into learning all I could last year, and now 14 months later, have created and launched Huntress Coaching! I did not know this would happen when I sat down for my first coaching class last January, but as I kept focusing on how I would achieve my goals, the path became clearer and clearer.
So here I am with a full tool bag ready to support as many as I can on this journey of finding solutions! God showed me how and now I am here to help you discover how to create change in your own life!
I want to end with a common question:
How can Huntress Coaching help me achieve my goals of becoming a better version of myself?
We use techniques that guide your subconscious to break down your stored negative thought patterns and beliefs you are currently dealing with (but most likely discovered a LONG time ago), we create new beliefs in your past memories and bring you back to the present with those strengthened beliefs inside of you! These new beliefs, along with the tools in my 1-1 program, help guide you to create new choices and these new choices help you create new outcomes!
Welcome to the Huntress Coaching Formula:
New Beliefs = New Choices = New Outcomes
It is a beautiful process to watch and I am so excited for you to learn more!